Innocent Questions

While writing the blog article that was supposed to be next, I noticed that I keep using the phrase “stupid” question. Why? Because everyone knows what I mean when I say it. But the question I am referring to is not a stupid question, which is why I use parentheses or add the adjective “so-called”. Problem solved, right? No.

Our memory likes things it has seen before. The phrase “stupid question” is well known, which is why I found myself using it. But with each encounter, we make it stronger. Which is a useful quality for a phrase, unless it is offensive and counterproductive like this one.

Our memory also likes to discard information that is not absolutely necessary. Like adjectives. So if I try to smooth out the offensive and counterproductive “stupid” core of the phrase with a so-called, our brains will recognize the stupid question and silently filter out the so-called, reinforcing the phrase once again.

So from now on, let’s call them innocent questions and never use the word “stupid” again.

Why Using Stupid is Stupid

If you just felt like I called you stupid, you have already found the reason why the phrase is offensive. No one wants to be called stupid. Not even Forrest Gump.

But we like to interpret adjectives that describe our actions as descriptions of ourselves. This makes sense if you are into storytelling and know that character is described by action. Only the description is up to the storyteller, not the character. If you ask an innocent question, that is what you have done. If someone else calls it stupid, that is on them, not you. They are being rude.

And stupid. Because what they may be accomplishing is to keep you quiet. In most settings (research talks, business meetings, …) this is counterproductive, because silence is doom whereas questions are facilitators.

If you want some nicely storified input on the value of innocent questions, you can watch this video¹.

Are We Not Innocent?

But all educated people know that innocent questions are not stupid, right? I doubt it.

Our understanding is shaped by the words we use, both consciously and unconsciously. And when honest and valuable input to our work is at stake, I say it’s worth the effort to unlearn one phrase and switch to another.

Just to give our memory a little exercise: Innocent question, innocent question, innocent question …

Afterword for Teachers

Schools are one of the rare places where, in the wrong environment, kids can benefit socially by calling out other kids with the phrase we should no longer use. It is still mean, and the other kids are still likely to be silenced, but in a twisted way it would not be counterproductive for the attacker. It would be mobbing, which is all the more reason to intervene.

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Photo by Cyrus Gomez on Unsplash.

• Science Communication
• Communication